Update:

Update:

Well today wasnt so good. Its getting harder and harder to do every day things. Aden is a bit better then he was yesterday. He was awake long enough that I could tell him what happened to me. He asked me why i hadn't told him earlier. He asked me why the doctors hadn't told him.

"Because i asked them not to. I dont want to bring you even more pain then youre already in. Im not worth that"

He just hugged me and told me everything would be okay. He know's im dying. He knows I wont last long now. But he doesnt give up. And thats why I love him.

I asked one of my friends in the hospital with me (Lucy Evans) to type this for me because I cant muster the strength to type for this long by myself.

Recently, one of my friends on here posted something about Aden and I. I don't know if i can really say all i'm feeling... but it brought me to tears. Its just good to know that someone, even someone who you don't know in real life, cares. I'm glad that our stories have touched people. I just wish.... well I guess not all stories have a happy ending huh?

Aden is improving from where he was before. He can get up now and wheel around for a short while. I'm glad. It's good to see him up again. For a while there.. I was worried he would'nt make it through this bout of sickness. The doctors bumped up  the ammount of Chemo theyre giving him and it seems that its helping the cancer in his brain shrink.

Me on the other hand...... Well I couldnt sleep last night and I overheard the doctors talking outside my room about how they don't think they can do anything else to help me. That i'm in enough pain as it is now that it will only get worse and that the kindest thing to do would be to pull the plug when the time comes. Its funny though, i dont feel any pain. Mabye they keep me drugged up so much that I cant feel it. I wouldnt be surprised.

They took an scan of my heart this morning and the hole is still not healing. They said that at any moment really the worst could happen.

It was at 2 am this morning that they said something that really made me mad.

"Either cancer will take him or this hole will but either way he's a goner"

They talk about me like im already dead. And im NOT! I KNOW IM DYING THANKS! I CAN FEEL IT! I KNOW! I DONT NEED YOU TO TALK ABOUT ME LIKE IM ALREADY GONE!

because im not.... im ... right... here