I know i promised to write about what happened but i cant bring myself to do it yet. I will on Sunday, i just still need time to make peace with myself. Im hanging on. As hard as i can.
His parents came to see me again yesterday.
It was worse then last time. They were crying when they walked in. I didnt know what to do so i hugged them.
The only thing worse then dying of cancer is having a kid who dies of cancer. I can understand that now. Seeing their pain, its awful.......
They brought me a gift yesterday, it was something they had found in a box in their mailbox. The box had large red letters on it that said "NOT TO BE OPENED UNLESS THE WORST HAPPENS TO ME"
It was a small box. Unconspicious. At first they thought it was a joke but then, when Nico died, they finally opened it. There was a card in it for them, and a nothe saying that what the box contained was for me. They came in and sat on the end of my bed as I opened it. They didnt say anything. And neither did I. My hands shook so badly that i could barely get the tape off the top. I saw his mother look away as I struggled to open it. I felt gulilty, i was hurting her, i tried to stop my hands from shaking but i eventually gave up. Inside the box was white tissue paper. And inside that, nestled deep down, was another box, small, black velvet.
I looked up at his parents. Again, they didnt say anything, but they didnt have to, i already knew what was in the box.
I think i cired then, im not really sure. His parents told me that in their note, it said to give it to me so i would always have a piece of his heart with me, so that i would never forget, and so that he could be close to me as well.
I dont think ive ever cried as hard as i did then since the day he died.
I'm wearing two wedding rings now, both on a necklace around my neck, one is mine, and one is his.
And I will never forget him.
Im not sure i could even if i tried.
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