Jake

Hey guys,
So frist important announcement. The doctors are switching me to a different hospital in a couple days. I'll be there for about three weeks so far.

Second.

Hello my friends,
SO, I'm trying to blog everyday. I don't know if i'll be able to but i'm going to try to. Its the thought that counts right?

Well today was intresting. It started off with some questions.


I was sitting in my wheelchair in the art room, staring at a blank canvas when another patient hobbled in on crutches. He sat down across from me on the faded red couch and stared out the window. I looked up at him. He was young, 14 maybe. He turned towards me, his eyes seemingly staring past me. He was blind. I immediately liked him, just by looking at him. Yea, it may sound crazy, but i connected with him on a deeper level in just a second. "You're pretty brave kid" I said to him, he smiled at me. "We're all brave." I looked at him for a moment, surprised, because that was something i said all the time. "I'm Jake" he said, offering out his hand, I slowly streatched out my shaking hand. He gripped it firmly and i gave his hand a small squeeze, (the best i could manage in my current state). "Aden" I said. He looked surprised. "Oh!" Jake exclaimed, "so you're Aden Grey!" I nodded, and then realizing he couldn't see me I said yes, i was.
"I've heard about you"
"Really?"
"Yes," Jake said. "All good things though" he cracked a smile.

I smiled back at him. "Are you going to paint something?" He asked. I was momentarily stumped on how he had figured out that I was staring at a blank canvas. He seemed to sense my confusion. "i touched it as I came in, if there had been any paint on the canvas it would have felt sticky, and heavy, kind of wet sometimes, but not so wet it comes off on your fingers." I looked at him, impressed.
"Can I ask you something?" he said, hesitantly, almost as if he was scared to ask. "Sure" I replied, wondering what he was going to say, I tried to shift my weight in the chair but the effort made spots dance in front of my eyes. "What is it like to be in love?" Again, i was surprised, whatever i had expected him to ask, it wasn't that.
I thought for a moment. "Its like learning to walk all over again, its like loosing yourself, all of yourself, and then rediscovering it again. Its like a rollercoaster, it has its ups and dows but every rollercoaster has its hills. Some more then most, and some less then many. Everytime youre around the person you love, its as if you're finally complete, like you're heat is whole. Its like-" I broke off, my voice choking up, I was thinking of Nico, of all the times we had spent together. "Its like nothing else in this world." I paused again and took a steadying breath. "when Nico was alive, before everything went bad......" I sighed heavily, a heavy brick wall pressing itself onto my shoulders.
"He was my world, my everything, the reason i woke up in the morning, the reason i fell asleep at night. The reason I ate, walked, talked. The reason I fought. He's the reason i fought to stay alive, because i would wake up at night and wonder what if i left, what if he left, what if i never got to say goodbye. So we made a pact, that each of us would fight as long as we could even if the other left before. He made me promise that I would never forget him, that i would live as long as i could, if i could, and that i would never stop fighting just because he was gone. The night he died, i thought my heart would burst. I wanted to die. I wanted the pain to end, it wasn't physical, it wasn't anything that pain killers could help, it was internal, i felt as if someone had ripped part of me away and left me raw and venerable to the world. I was empty. I felt nothing and everything at the same time. I cared about nothing and everything in the same moment. I was both alive and dead. And in that moment, i realized how much I loved him, how much i depended on him, how much he meant to me, and how much i would-" I stopped my flow of words, hot tears racing down my cheeks. "how much i would miss him"

Jake had kept silent the whole time, now he got up and hobbled carefully over to me, feeling his way to my side. He wrapped his arms around my neck and i felt his small body convulse. He was crying with me. I squeezed him gently. My head spun, my heart pounded in my chest. "That sounds beautiful" Jake whispered in my ear.

After a few hours of talking, my headache grew worse and i started to feel faint, my hands shook and i felt as though i would pass out. Jake pressed the button for me on the side of my wheelchair and my nurse, Claire, came to take me back to my room. Jake promised that he would visit me later. Before I left, Jake put his hand on mine and said quite seriously. "Paint a river, rivers are eternal, all of the water, though it may dry up in one place, always connects with another, becuase the rivers all connect somewhere. Just like your love for eachother, your courage, and your hope, they never truly die."